I didn't learn until much later that Sarah had grown up in a house of vehement environmentalists. Slightly crazy people, but nice all the same. Her parents were of the post-hippie treehugger generation, and she had inherited many of their ideas. In retrospect, I should have guessed something like that when I listened to her speech to the dean. But, as they say, hindsight is always 20-20.
"This school lacks a decent recycling program," she said. "No, don't start on the cans around campus and the little poster campaign run by the student body. Most of those posters are just falling down and rotting anyway. What we need are activists.
"Right now, nobody cares about the state of our school. Just yesterday I saw confetti strewn everywhere - foil confetti, no less! Sure, it looks fine for a week, but then it's just a nuisance, getting in shoes and hair and notebooks. But that isn't the end of it - that shiny confetti is practically indestructible, another product of our great plasticized culture. It will not biodegrade. It will be forever embedded in the cracks of our sidewalks, stuck there until the end of time. Nothing short of a nuclear blast could remove it.
"So why do we put it there? For a little frivolity? Is it just a way to make our short time on this earth more INTERESTING? I see no other purpose here - it's sheer gluttony. Of the seven deadly sins, confetti includes gluttony, sloth, greed, and pride. Each one an immortal strike against our American Dream.
"President Bush was intelligent enough to notice that the United States of America is addicted to oil. But did he mention our other addictions? Plastics, coal (and all other forms of energy), metals, wood - everything! The only thing in which we do not indulge ourselves is moderation.
"Do you want your campus to be known as a paradigm of America's flaws? From what I have seen, you do not care. You take a laissez-faire approach to everything here. You have never supported extracurricular activities, the arts, the sciences, the sports - anything! Name one good thing you have done for us, I dare you!" She paused, and the dean sat still, slightly awed. "See? Not a word! You have no defense for yourself.
"But there is still hope for Arkwright College. We have the ability to change! What we need is a proactive recycling campaign, regulations enforced by the Campus Patrol, and rewards given out by the student officers. (A separation of the regulatory and rewarding bodies is, in my opinion, necessary to avoid mixed messages.) How soon would you like to begin the planning stages?"
The dean sank a few inches into his chair as he pondered Sarah's speech. Finally, he spoke up. "I'll consider it. But at the moment I am late for a Board of Trustees meeting. I would like to see all of you back in my office soon. We have a variety of matters to discuss. You will receive notices as soon as my secretary has scheduled your appointments. Good afternoon." And so ended our first interview with the Dean.
Sarah's speeches can be surprisingly easy to write sometimes. I just have to rant for a few minutes, and... Viola! Instant speech!
I was hoping to talk about this a little more, but I don't have the time. So I will simply refer you to the web site of Blog Action Day, which is why I wrote this speech today.
Goodnight all! Or rather, good morning, all! Yipes!
No comments:
Post a Comment