I guess Intro to Theology would have been a whole lot less interesting if it weren't for Sarah Wood. The first day should probably have been an indicator. Professor Whelk had just finished the usual formalities, the sort of junk any liberal arts professor must be required to say by contract about "doing his best to be objective" and "not showing any bias in the classroom" and whatnot. I thought I had heard it a million times and I was a Comp. Sci. major. I almost felt sorry for the poor liberal arts kids, always starting out a class with either that spiel or a "gentle introduction" to one of the hard sciences.
Prof. Whelk asked for questions in the way that's obviously supposed to mean "no questions please," so I really got a kick out of seeing the look on his face when Sarah's hand went up. Still, I probably wouldn't have paid much attention to the actual question if it had been anyone else but Sarah. I could have sworn I had danced with her at some party Freshman year, but I was probably drunk at the time, and as Douglas Adams once noted, it's really hard to remember stuff unless your just as inebriated as the moment you saw it. That particular day, I had two reasons for wishing I was as smashed as the night I danced with Sarah: First, so I could remember what it was like to dance with her. (I don't think imagination could really do justice to the experience.) And second, so I wouldn't be so bored.
Between staring at Sarah and wondering how a Comp. Sci. major like me had been duped into taking theology, it took a while for Sarah's question to really register in my brain. I do that a lot - hear something and don't realize what it means for another twenty seconds or so. Half the time I end up deciding that listening is seldom worth the trouble, but Sarah's question... That was worth it.
"Professor Whelk," she asked, sounding sweet as pie, "is it possible for anyone to be completely unbiased?" It isn't like nobody at Arkwright College ever challenged authority - as far as I know all schools get a little of that, and probably liberal arts schools more than most, since they practically encourage that. Still, it was a real spectacle, judging from the way everyone was staring at Sarah.
Professor Whelk got over his surprise fast enough that hardly anyone noticed, and by the time all eyes had turned his way he was looking almost amused. "Yes, Miss Wood, I believe it is quite possible."
The way Sarah's face lit up, she must have been really hoping for that answer. "You believe, Professor? But do you know it? Can you prove it?"
"Yes, Miss Wood, I think I can prove it."
As far as I was concerned he might as well have just given up and said "no." I can't recall even half the discussion, probably because most of the references were about as far over my head as quantum mechanics. The only thing I learned that hour was that Descartes - the guy responsible for the Cartesian coordinate system, exponential notation, and "Descartes before the horse" jokes (I'll bet he haunts the nightmares of many a liberal arts student) - was a philosopher. Not only did he say "I think therefore I am," he worked out an intended proof of God's existence.
Apparently Descartes's proof relies on the postulate that the idea of a benevolent god is an innate idea. I do remember Sarah, looking like she had just reached the top of Mount Everest, practically shouting that at Prof. Whelk.
He looked cool as a cucumber, standing behind his desk in the front of the room. "And you deny, Miss Wood, that 'God' is an innate idea? Because I have an idea of 'God' and it can be nothing but innate, because I have never seen God!"
"I've never seen a flying elephant, but I can imagine what one looks like."
I honestly didn't think the room would be so quiet when I said it. Even Sarah looked at me like I had confessed to murder. Take it from me: If you're going to talk to yourself, don't do it out loud.
Darin's Ramblings
I think my overfilled sidebar mostly explains what this is, but I should clarify a few things. First of all, "A Good Fantasy" isn't much good and it isn't much fantasy. Today's lesson, kids, is that a title is not the same as a description. In this case, it's the exact opposite. Second, it is intended as a way of forcing myself to write, not entertaining the masses. If you find it entertaining, that's wonderful. If you hate it, please tell me why and I'll try to fix my writing if I think it needs fixing. (Comments expounding on the incredible virtues of this masterpiece of fiction would not be discouraged either. :-) I am putting this online as a way of giving myself a deadline, and holding myself to it because I don't want to disappoint my hypothetical audience.
Some other business: I don't know if I can get indentation to work yet. I certainly hope I can, because without it I don't know how to format this. Updates will normally be posted Saturday night around 10:00 PST (GMT-8:00), even though this one went up on a Tuesday. (I'm actually modifying the timestamp to look like I put it up on time, though.)
The fact that this is up late is mainly because I've been procrastinating on life by reading a lot of webcomics. On the other hand, webcomics are what inspired this feeble attempt at serialized fiction, so I have to give them some thanks. Today I must particularly thank the Lyall sisters. Lucy Lyall draws and writes Kaspall, which she calls something like "anthropomorphic fantasy with a detective bent" and I call very entertaining. The thing that finally forced me to start writing "A Good Fantasy" and putting it on the web, though, is Kuwatar, by Lucy's sister Amy Lyall. She is an absolutely wonderful writer, and has been kind enough to post Kuwatar online, but it will be going down for editing on August 12, so hurry if you want to read it! I think it's worth a look, both for the writing and the theme of questioning authority. I wonder why that theme appeals to me so much?
Anyway, I intend to have next week's installment online on time, and with it will come more rambling and links. Have a nice week, hypothetical audience!
Update: I got indents working! But now I have to put 'div' and '/div' tags around each paragraph. Oh well.
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