The Inquirer

The office of the Arkwright Inquirer seemed like a fitting place for the start of Sarah's campaign of inquiry. It was true to its name - the walls were covered in bumper stickers advertising a variety of conspiracy theories. A cutout of a giant question mark faced the door. The staff appeared to be sleeping on their keyboards. The editor in chief was snoring.

As I looked around the little cubbyhole of an office my arm brushed a precarious pile of past issues that toppled to the floor. The editor stopped snoring long enough to say, "Pick up the recycling, Mike." A stirring in the corner caught my eye, and, to my great surprise, I discovered my roommate hidden behind a monitor. He gulped from a mug of coffee and had stumbled halfway to the paper cascade before he saw my face. Once all the facts had congealed inside his brain he blinked a few times and asked what the hell I was doing there.

"Didn't you tell me you hated the paper?"

"Yeah, Mike, I do hate it. I'm here on an errand for a friend, and I think I'm supposed to talk to the chief editor." I waved my hand toward the nerd with the bad snore.

"Brian, I never realized you were so gregarious! I didn't think you had any friends. Congratulations!" He ignored my glare. "So who is this friend of yours, anyway?"

"You know who Sarah Wood is?"

Mike's eyebrows rose. "The manipulative one?"

"I guess you could say that. She roped me into doing an interview with the chief editor of the paper. Manipulative would be the wrong word though - she seems really nice."

"You're probably just remembering that time freshman year when you were drunk at a party and the two of you ended up dancing."

"How'd you remember that?"

"You spent the next morning talking about it. I think that was what comforted you through the hangover."

"Oh. That party."

"Yes, the one where you asked--"

"I'd rather not think about it. So can we wake up the chief editor?" I pointed at the guy snoring into his keyboard.

"You already did, Brian. He's the layout editor. I'm chief editor."

"Crap. Then I can't put the interview off any longer, can I?"

"Nope."

I could hear the little voice in the back of my head snickering at me.

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Well, I guess I inadvertently took a week off. And the tone is weird. Webcomics are very bad for me. Guess I'll sleep now. Finished the last Harry Potter book last night, and it kept me up a bit late. Have a nice week!